BP's New Nickname

BP, you know I love you man and sincerely appreciate you joining me on this trip.  I've enjoyed it immensely. But I wouldn't be me if I didn't give you a hard time.

Most of you know I love to give nicknames... Originality is of utmost importance, therefore I usually like try to associate it with someone's name or by what that person says, does, portrays, etc.  Having BP as my navigator over the passed couple of days has earned him his new nickname:

Backseat Billy

He's more than a navigator.  Backseat Billy is a play-by-play narrator, the big show commentator.  If I need to turn left, I'll know miles in advance.  If my bright lights are on and a car approaches, he's automatic with the command, "BRIGHTS!"  Let's say I'm passing a car - I could get a number of responses:

1. "Bishop, WTF are you doing?!"
2. "Dude, the lane is ending, just slow down."
3. "You got that."

I always know where Backseat Billy stands with me and my driving.  Here are some direct quotes that are my favorites thus far:

1. "Dude, why don't you JUST drive?" - as I reached for whatever in the backseat (food, drink, camera, sanitizer, paper towels, etc)
2. "Bishop, there are too many cars in front of that semi" (as I tried to pass it, I think I disregarded his warning on this one).
3. "Whew!"  "What," I asked.  "I'm glad you put that down so you can drive with your hands instead of your knee."
4. "Cow crossing next 20 miles."
5. "I'm pretty sure that's a turn up ahead." - indicating I'm driving to fast.
6. "That's going to be a sharp turn, speed limit 10mph" - just making sure I saw the sign
7. "It's 15 mph,  you're doing 25." - as if to say, "slow down"
8. "It's 65 mph, you're only doing 61." - as if to say, "speed up"

Sometimes I feel like I can't win... it's like we're dating and the harder I try, the more he demands... and the worse I get.

I have, however, managed to retaliate.  While we were climbing the mountain at Sequoia National Park the other day, both of us were pretty tense and on edge over the winding roads and constant climbing.  Speeding up, slowing down, sharp turns at 5mph, looking over ledges and trying not to think about what COULD happen should I take a turn too fast or not turn sharply enough.  Anyways, Backseat Billy decided to direct his attention away from my driving and on to the atlas to see where we were.  Knowing how focused he was on my driving and how restless he was (we both were), I decided to have a little fun... about 10 seconds after he started reading the atlas, I briefly stomped the break, jerked the wheel, and loudly gasped for air.  I saw BP's reaction in my peripherals and I almost lost all sense of control.  He threw both hands out, stiffened both legs to brace for impact, and gasped himself!  It's one of those "you had to be there" moments, but I swear if BP wasn't buckled in, his head would've hit the roof of the truck.  He laughed along with me, trying to impress upon me how it wasn't funny.  Didn't work.

Later that day, I asked BP to snag me something out of the cooler.  I told him I could try reaching and looking if he preferred (I was driving), but he quickly agreed to look for me.  While he was unbuckled crammed between the two front seats, I jammed the brakes.  Just enough to rock him a lil, nothing to hurt him or cause any serious damage.  He didn't like that either.  But it was damn funny.  I did it again later that day, but promised him I wouldn't do it anymore.  And I haven't.  Enough fun with him on those two.